I know it's Valentine's Day in a couple of days, and I'm definitely not trying to put a massive downer on anything but I thought I'd get this off my chest.
So, I haven't posted in a while. And the reason behind that is that me and my boyfriend of over a year have recently broken up. As you probably can imagine, I've been going through a tough time but instead of wallowing through my negative experience, I thought I'd put it to good use. So, I've decided to write a kind of advice post for all you lovely people that might be going through the same situation as I am at the moment. I really hope this helps.
It's alright to cry. I know it sounds a bit pathetic but it really helps.
2. Avoid social media.
Whatever you do, don't Facebook/Twitter/Instagram stalk them. Seeing their face or seeing them having fun with their friends isn't going to do you any good.
However this might be the case, don't un-friend or block them, this just makes you look weak or bitter if they find out.
3. Accept it.
No matter who did the dumping, you have to realise that this part of your life has ended. Don't keep thinking of past memories, or what stuff you'll be missing out on together. But think of why this change can be positive.
4. Focus your attention on something you enjoy.
Whilst I was with my ex, I completely stopped working out and it was only until after the breakup that I realised that this has happened. So now I have joined a gym, taken up yoga classes and I go to aerobics two times a week.
The aim of this is not to be distracted from the problem, but to focus on positive changes in your life.
5. Enjoy your positive relationships.
I don't know about you, but my family are everything to me. They have been so supportive through my situation and I really treasure that. Spend time with your family and friends, go out and do things you'd never think of doing.
6. There will be good days and bad days.
Even though you think you might be getting through it, there will be a day that you see something that reminds you of them and you will break down. But knowing this is going to happen in the first few weeks or months will at least make you prepared for it.
7. Keep your space.
After the break-up has happened, I'd say to keep your space for at least a month. Don't try to text or ring them, don't try to see them and definitely don't ask to be friends with them. If you are in the same environment as them for your work or school, this may be a little trickier. Be civil, but keep your space.
8. Realise that it is going to be okay.
After the first month, the worst is over. You will be able to start to realise that you can move on with your life and forget about what has happened in the past.
9. Find closure.
If you still have some of their things at your house, now is the time to exchange. Whether it's deciding what to do with not yet used gig tickets or whether you brought something together, it's time to decide what to do with them. Hold your ground, don't seem sad or upset and go looking your best.
The best thing to do is to smile. Firstly, it shows them that you're better off without them and secondly it will make you feel much more happy and confident in your single life :)
Remember, you can't reach what's in front of you until you let go of what's behind you.
Smile, and let everyone know that today, you're a lot stronger than you were yesterday.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end - John Lennon
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward - C.S. Lewis